On November 8, 1998, there was an article in “Dear Ann Landers” titled, “Lawyer-bashing: Sometimes wounds are self-inflicted.”
“The Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers Journal printed the following questions actually asked of witnesses by lawyers during a trial. The responses to some of the questions were given by insightful witnesses. This is not a put-on. It’s for real. Ronita in Center Line, Michigan”
- Question: Now, doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
- Question: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
- Question: Were you present when your picture was taken?
- Question: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?
- Question: Did he kill you?
- Question: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?
- Question: You were there until the time you left, is that true?
- Question: She had three children, right?
Question: How many were boys?
Question: How many were girls?
- Question: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
Question: And these stairs, did they go up, also?
- Question: How was your first marriage terminated?
Answer: By death.
Question: And by whose death was it terminated?
- Question: Can you describe the individual?
Answer: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Question: Was this a male or a female?
- Question: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice that I sent to your attorney?
Answer: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
- Question: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
Answer: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
- Question: All your responses must be oral. OK? What school did you go to?
- Question: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
Answer: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Question: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
Answer: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
- Question: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
Answer: I went to Europe, sir.
Question: And you took your new wife?
- Question: So the date of conception was August 8th?>
Question: And what were you doing at the time?
- Question: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
Answer: I have been since early childhood.
- Question: You were not shot in the fracas?
Answer: No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.
Oh, well! That's the way it goes sometimes.