English words that don't mean what they look like as they are often assumed to be.
artery, the study of paintings.
bacteria, the back door of a cafeteria.
barium, what doctors do when patients die.
bowel, a letter like a, e, i, o, or u.
caesarean section, a neighborhood in Rome.
cat scan, searching for a lost cat.
cauterize, making eye-contact with a girl.
coma, a punctuation mark.
dilate, to live a long time.
enema, not a friend .
euthanasia, Chinese, Japanese, etc. adolescents.
fester, quicker.
fibula, a small lie.
genital, not a Jew.
hangnail, a coat hook.
impotent, distinguished, well known.
labor pain, getting hurt at work.
malfeasance, exorbitant charges for professional services.
medical staff, a doctor’s cane.
morbid, a higher offer.
nitrates, cheaper than day rates.
node, was aware of, knew.
nosography
1. The art of writing using a pen or pencil stuck up one’s nose.
2. The writing done by a nasograph.
outpatient, someone who has fainted.
pap smear, a fatherhood test.
pelvis, a cousin of Elvis.
prophylactic, a person who favors birth control.
recovery room, place to do upholstery.
rectum, dang near killed ‘em.
secretion, hiding something.
seizure, famous Roman leader.
tablet, a small table.
terminal illness, getting sick at the airport.
tumor, more than one.
urine, opposite of “you’re out”.
vein, conceited.