Definitions in Deviant and Comical Format

(lexicomedy, linguicomedy, or a chuckleglossary consisting of definitions which are markedly different from the accepted dictionary norm)

Just as biology and chemistry join in biochemistry to reveal new unifying processes, so language and humor join in linguicomedy to reveal unexpected similarities.

—Evan Esar in his Humorous English;
Horizon Press; New York; 1961; page 16.
1. A letter that's always written in haste.
2. The alpha of the alphabet.
3. Something present in each day, yet absent from every morning, noon, and night.
—Evan Esar
A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
A person who is in pain.
A period when teenagers feel that they will never be as ignorant as their parents.
1. A person who has stopped growing except in the middle.
2. Someone who has stopped growing vertically and now has a tendency to grow horizontally.
The science of influencing the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.
1. Talking to someone whose mind is already made up.
2. A drug in the market in which the supply always exceeds the demand.
A history of cars.
The back door of a cafeteria.
A rapidly receding hairline.
Something you cannot use at a price you cannot resist.
Funeral arrangements made by doctors when patients die.
Beauty Parlor
A place where women curl up and dye.
To take one’s time.
What a person becomes after he or she is eight.

Go to the Fun with Words index to see more unusual lists of words.

You may also enjoy the Medical Terms from a Different Perspective index.