Definitions in Deviant and Comical Format

(lexicomedy, linguicomedy, or a chuckleglossary consisting of definitions which are markedly different from the accepted dictionary norm)

Just as biology and chemistry join in biochemistry to reveal new unifying processes, so language and humor join in linguicomedy to reveal unexpected similarities.

—Evan Esar in his Humorous English;
Horizon Press; New York; 1961; page 16.
consistency
That which makes it necessary to tell a second lie.
couch potato’s fitness-studio nemesis or something that causes misery
Dreadmill (also known as a treadmill which is an exercise device consisting of a continuous moving belt on which a person can walk or jog while remaining in one place).
counterfeiters
Workers who put kitchen cabinets together.
dermatologist
Someone who makes rash judgments.
dilate
To live a long time.
diplomacy
The art of getting other people to do it your way.
disarmament
An agreement between nations to destroy all weapons that are obsolete or no longer useful.
egotist
1. Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.

2. When two egotists get together, it's an I for an I.
etc.
An abbreviation that sometimes makes others think someone knows more than he or she really does.
experience
The name we give to the mistakes we make.
experience
The name people give to their mistakes.
eyedropper
A clumsy ophthalmologist.
failure
1. The path of least persistence.
2. A man who has blundered but is not able to cash in on the experience.
fairy tale
A horror story to prepare children for the news of the world.
farmer
A man who works from daybreak to backbreak.

Go to the Fun with Words index to see more unusual lists of words.

You may also enjoy the Medical Terms from a Different Perspective index.