Definitions in Deviant and Comical Format

(lexicomedy, linguicomedy, or a chuckleglossary consisting of definitions which are markedly different from the accepted dictionary norm)

Just as biology and chemistry join in biochemistry to reveal new unifying processes, so language and humor join in linguicomedy to reveal unexpected similarities.

—Evan Esar in his Humorous English;
Horizon Press; New York; 1961; page 16.
left bank
What the robber did when his bag was full of loot.
medium
A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

A "medium" is someone who claims to be able to communicate with the spirits of the dead.

negligent
A description of a condition in which a person absentmindedly goes to the door in a night-gown.
paraffins
Those extensions found on the sides of fish.
paralyze
Two untruths or lies.
pedestrian
A person who depended on his wife to put some gas in the car.
planning
The art of putting off until tomorrow what a person has no intention of doing today.
poise
That quality that enables someone to buy a new pair of shoes while ignoring a hole in his/her sock.
politics
A term some people say comes from the Greek prefix, poly, "many" and ticks, "blood sucking insects".
polygamy
Marriage to many spouses, while monotony is considered by some as marriage to just one spouse.
refrigerator
A place where we store leftovers until they are old enough to throw out.
relief
What trees do in the spring.
secret
Something that is told to just one person at a time.
selfish
What the owner of a seafood store does.
shin
A method for finding furniture in the dark.

Go to the Fun with Words index to see more unusual lists of words.

You may also enjoy the Medical Terms from a Different Perspective index.